Misty’s Blog

A friend asked me today about college dreams. I have mulled it over all day. Did I sell out by choosing something different? Was I too lazy or too scared to pursue those things? In my thoughts I was reminded of this song…

I Am Nothing
Ginny Owens
I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share your story, bring you glory, and win souls for you.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the choir and Bible study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

Chorus:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve you,
Wont you make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

Bridge:
If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the one who lived his life for me?

Sent to earth from heaven,
Humble servant, holy king,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that Id deny you, crucify you, but nothing could stop you from
Living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

My plans as a twenty something were to complete seminary and become a career missionary among a host of other good things.

As it turns out I met a man on a road trip turned bad and thought he was easy to talk to and told God I thought I could marry someone like him. 4 years later we went on our first date. When he asked me to marry him, I told him we would probably never have biological children because of my health issue. He married me anyway. Today, 9 years later, we have a one year old miracle.

I have not traveled the world, but I know exactly where diapers are in every store for a 30 mile radius. I show love by preparing meals for my family and keeping us organized. Last night I played with the miracle for an hour and my laundry sat undone. This is where I love; I had planned on doing it in the Ukraine, but being Christ-like is obedience regardless of geography.

For those of you who know me and maybe you have wondered how I got where I am when my dreams were so different. I chose a new dream. Some of those others may happen some day. Today I am building a heritage. My focus is breaking a family sin cycle so that the miracle will know way ahead of when his momma did what living a godly life looks like and so that he won’t ever know about some of the things his momma knew as a child. My focus is having a marriage that goes the distance. If I never get to the Ukraine or never attend another lock-in or plan another mission trip that is ok with me. Make no mistake I will go wherever He wants and do whatever He wants me to do, but this season is about ministering to my family, building a sold foundation. A godly heritage is the dream that is in the forefront.

My banner verse since I accepted Christ 16 years ago is: Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. His power is at work in me, I am still a dreamer above all I ask or think is a lot, God still knocks my socks off on a regular basis. He can do that with anyone, wherever they are.

Selling out is not about what we do; it is about who we are. I am who I always was a dreamer, following a dream giver. He has a lot more surprises in store for me and I can’t wait.